Love is an action word and is demonstrated by one’s actions, words, thoughts and motives. Therefore, I find it hard to believe when people say they “love” someone but in return “hurt” them. By hurt I mean by causing physical harm, injury or damage. Subjecting someone to ongoing pain to serve one’s own selfish need or desire for “punishment” or “payback”. Often times, these actions are a way of “controlling the other person”. People are not objects to be controlled. If that were the case, God would be our ultimate puppet master! However, yet, even He doesn’t “control” us, but gives us free will to make decisions and move about as we please.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails;
If all these things are true of love, why do so many of us experience the opposite as far as love is concerned? Are there so many of us confused as to the true meaning of love or blatantly defiant against it? It is possible that some people learn how to love by what they were shown growing up or by their own personal experiences, whether positive or negative? Can this explain why some people mistake love for hate? The two are deniably different but some people replace one with the other.
The most common forms of abuse a woman may suffer from per companion are: physical, verbal, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse. Me, myself, have experienced all of these at some point in my life. Today, I still struggle sometimes to deal with the mental scars from the abuse. I’m not sure if you ever heal completely or just mask it under the surface. I will say that seeing a therapist did help me at some point because talking about it is one way to overcome the turmoil. You have to take back what the abuser stole from you, which is yourself. Stay happy & healthy. Your soul depends on it!
If you feel you are in danger, please call the National Domestic Abuse hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY for Deaf/hard of hearing) GET THE HELP YOU NEED NOW!!!